Monday morning madness consists of a self-driving vehicle stopped at double the velocity restrict, plans for an alien landing pad and a transfer to 1-way skating at the Rideau Canal to make way for a “high-velocity trip.”

April Fools’ Day manifestly, but amusing.

Const. Jon Hall tweeted that he’d nailed the excessive-tech vehicle going 137 km/h in a 60 area but the “passenger reading his paper didn’t feel an issue.”

Meanwhile, the National Capital Commission said that starting subsequent iciness, skaters will only be allowed to move northbound from 7 a.M. To noon and southbound from noon to 7 p.M.

The purpose is to improve protection and site visitors go with the flow and “conservation officers and skateway patrollers might be at the ice to make sure implementation of the new one-way skating goes smoothly.

“New signage and site visitors lights could be in the region for the start of the season.”

You may also only be capable of skate one way on the canal, but come summer season you’ll be able to plumb its depths in an autonomous submarine, Ottawa Tourism reports.

“Through your very own private porthole, you could look at underwater creatures like catfish, eels and turtles,” the organization promises.

“Perhaps even extra thrilling are the seen inanimate gadgets, which includes the early model of the Stanley Cup that turned into kicked into the canal with the aid of the Ottawa Silver Seven hockey membership after their win in 1905.”

River Ward Coun. Riley Brockington had an April 1 eye-opener, too.

“Later today I may be announcing the brand new pending improvement of a brand new alien spaceship landing pad, on top of Mooney’s Bay Hill,” he deadpanned. “All traffic is welcome.”

Even April fools.

Ottawa Public Health issued the millionth frostbite alert of the 12 months, warning that “the temperature might be dropping soon and could eventually sense like -273 C.” So, “put on things, do stuff,” the employer warned wearily.

Too soon. Too quickly.

Const. Phil Kane, recognized for herding excessive milers and cat GIFs, tweeted that he and Hall might be taking the summer off to herd cats.

It should best be easier.