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One-way canal skating, robot traffic stop, alien landing pad: Ottawa has a few April fools

Wilbert Doyle by Wilbert Doyle
February 1, 2022
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Monday morning madness consists of a self-driving vehicle stopped at the double the velocity restrict, plans for an alien landing pad, and a transfer to 1-way skating at the Rideau Canal to make way for a “high-velocity trip.”

April Fools’ Day manifestly, but amusing.

Const. Jon Hall tweeted that he’d nailed the excessive-tech vehicle going 137 km/h in a 60 area but the “passenger reading his paper didn’t feel an issue.”

canal skating

Meanwhile, the National Capital Commission said that starting subsequent iciness, skaters will only be allowed to move northbound from 7 a.M. To noon and southbound from noon to 7 p.M.

The purpose is to improve protection and site visitors go with the flow, and “conservation officers and skateway patrollers might be at the ice to make sure implementation of the new one-way skating goes smoothly.

“New signage and site visitors lights could be in the region for the start of the season.”

You may also only be capable of skate one way on the canal, but come summer season, you’ll be able to plumb its depths in an autonomous submarine, Ottawa Tourism reports.

“Through your very own private porthole, you could look at underwater creatures like catfish, eels, and turtles,” the organization promises.

“Perhaps even extra thrilling are the seen inanimate gadgets, which includes the early model of the Stanley Cup that turned into kicked into the canal with the aid of the Ottawa Silver Seven hockey membership after their win in 1905.”

River Ward Coun. Riley Brockington had an April 1 eye-opener, too. “Later today, I may be announcing the brand new pending improvement of a brand new alien spaceship landing pad, on top of Mooney’s Bay Hill,” he deadpanned. “All traffic is welcome.”

Even April fools. Ottawa Public Health issued the millionth frostbite alert of the 12 months, warning that “the temperature might be dropping soon and could eventually sense like -273 C.” So, “put on things, do stuff,” the employer warned wearily.

Too soon. Too quickly. Const. Phil Kane, recognized for herding excessive milers and cat GIFs, tweeted that he and Hall might be taking the summer off to herd cats. It should best be easier.

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Wilbert Doyle

Wilbert Doyle

Introvert. Total beeraholic. Food advocate. Thinker. Coffee geek. Hardcore bacon buff. Travel guru. Uniquely-equipped for researching saliva in Libya. Had a brief career training yogurt in Pensacola, FL. Spent 2002-2007 merchandising bagpipes for no pay. Spent 2002-2009 building toy trucks in Hanford, CA. Had moderate success buying and selling tar in Fort Walton Beach, FL. Spent 2001-2007 developing strategies for bathtub gin in Naples, FL.

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